Lucky Monopoly: Here and Now Edition
by HumanKnotGirl
Summary: Monopoly: It ruins people's days in the most hilarious of ways. Now millionaire flavored. Featuring Konata, Kagami and Tsukasa. Mild language.


"Man, I'm so bored!" With a mock cry of distress, Konata Izumi fell backward onto the floor, utterly exhausted despite making very little progress in her homework. "This isn't fair. Can't we take a break, Kagamin?"

"Dammit, Konata, if you choose to take a break every ten minutes, how do expect to ever get your homework done?" The studious girl watched in irritation as her blue-haired friend pretended to froth at the mouth like a rabid dog. "How are you holding up, Tsukasa? Tsukasa?"

The younger Hiiragi twin was as still as stone, apparently staring off into space and unaware of what was going on around her. A nudge from Kagami brought her back to her senses. "Oh, sis! I was just..."

"Forget it, I already know," Kagami replied with a sigh. "Alright, let's take a break, then. Konata, is there something you want to do?"

"Actually..." With that, the otaku rose to her feet, making her way toward Kagami's game shelf. She returned holding a familiar looking box. When Kagami realized what it was, she panicked.

"No way. Not happening. Konata, you know that game takes hours and that we're going to kill each other by the end of it."

"But Kagamiiiin, Monopoly is so much fun! Especially the newer one where you get two million every time you go around the board!"

"Konata...no."

"Why!? Why is my lovable Kagami so mean!?" The blunette's mock tears slowly began to hit a soft spot in Kagami, though she'd never admit it outright. Putting on her best facade, she retailiated.

"Alright, alright! If it will get you to stop whining." Taking the box from her friend, she began to set up the game. "So, who's going to be what character? You're taking the cell phone again, right Tsukasa?"

"Yep! It's my favorite."

"You should be the french fries, Kagami," shouted Konata. This was met with a bonk on the head by the tin-tailed tsundere.

"I think I'll be the sports car," Kagami replied innocently as the otaku clutched her head in pain.

"Gah, alright then...I'll be the laptop! Let's get this game started, already!"

As the three high-schoolers got situated around the board, Kagami explained the rules they would use. "OK, we'll all start with ten million. Passing or landing on GO gives four million. Tax is fifteen percent or four million. Credit debt is three million. All taxes go to Free Parking; land on it, and it's yours. You can only spend one turn in jail, and bail is two million. The game ends in twenty turns or when all players are eliminated. That fair?"

Konata and Tsukasa nodded their approval, and with that, the terms had been accepted.

Turn One

Shaking the dice violently in her hands, the otaku lay them out across the board. Snake eyes on her first turn put her in Community Chest, where she picked up a nifty get out of jail free card. Her next roll put her on O'Hare international, which she nabbed for a solid two million.

Kagami rolled next, much less violently than Konata, and landed on Gateway Arch. One million and it became hers. Tsukasa rolled a seven, landing on chance. "Hm...it says to go around the board and land on O'Hare International."

"Good job, Tsukasa," replied the girl's twin. "You just earned four million in your first turn!"

"Oh, I did? That's amazing!" She took her piece around the board and onto O'Hare, gaining the large sum of money but paying out 250,000 to Konata as per the rent. Konata took the dice, her roll landing her on the pink Centennial Olympic Park. 1.4 million flew from her hands as she picked up the deed. Kagami, however, landed on Red Rocks Ampitheatre, which was also pink. Konata whined as the tsundere deposited 1.4 million in the bank to collect this deed. Tsukasa's roll put her on Cell Phone Service, which she bought for 1.5 Million considering she had so much extra money.

Turn Three

Konata snagged Pioneer Square for two million; however, her resources were quickly draining. Kagami rolled, landing on Community Chest, but it was a dud card. Tsukasa landed on Chance with her roll of double fives. Blushing, she picked up the card.

"Celebrate New Year's in the Big Apple. Advance to...Times Square!?"

Konata and Kagami were absolutely stunned. The aloof younger Hiiragi had managed, through sheer luck, to hop aboard one of the most valuable pieces in the game. She bought it with four million, now taking a decisive lead over her opponents. Rolling again gave her four million for passing go and yet another Chance card, this one telling her to pay 150,000.

Turn Four

"I'm not going to give up that easily!" The otaku rolled her dice, landing on Chance as well. "What, another get out of jail card? When am I possibly going to need these?" Sighing, she let Kagami take the dice. Wakiki beach became hers for 2.2 million. Tsukasa's next roll landed her on Red Rocks Ampitheatre, and she paid her sister a decent 100,000.

Turn Five

Konata landed on the French Quarter. The cost was 2.6 million, but she found herself with less than five million to her name. She decided not to risk it. "Alright, gals! The first Monopoly Here and Now Auction is about to begin! Bidding starts at 1.6 million!"

Kagami smiled. "In that case, I'll go for 2.1 million!"

"2.7 million for me," chimed in Tsukasa. Konata passed, and it was Kagami's turn to bid.

"Three million! It's now more than the traditional cost. Do you still want to fight over it, Tsukasa?"

"Um...well, if that's the case, I guess you should have it, sis." With that, the yellow property came under the proud ownership of the twin-tailed tsundere. It was now her turn. She rolled, landing on the next yellow, Hollywood. However, her recent auction left her short 100,000. She groaned.

"Haha! You screwed up your money, Kagamin! Oh, the irony!" The otaku rolled over in a fit of laughter as Kagami's face heated up from her rookie mistake. Still, she had a backup plan.

"I choose to mortgage the Gateway Arch for 500,000!" There was silence. It was now Kagami's turn to grin as she spent all her money, and 100,000 of the mortgage, on this yellow deed. She had but 400,000 left to her name.

Tsukasa's turn. Chance yet again! This time, she was advanced to JFK International, which she bought for two million. Konata rolled, landing on community chest, and sobbingly parted with one million.

"Alright, my turn again." Kagami moved to a green tile, which she obviously couldn't hope to afford. "So...who wants to bid on the White House?"

"Three point six!" The shout, which came from the youngest Hiiragi, was a shock. It was 400,000 more than the cost of the property, and too much for the otaku to counter. The green property now belonged to Tsukasa, who rolled, and in the same leap, grabbed Las Vegas Boulevard for another three million.

Turn Six

Konata landed on GO, cheering as her reserves were replenished by four million. Kagami's roll, unfortunately, sunk her as she landed on Times Square. She now owed her sister 500,000 but only had 400,000 to her name. She was forced to mortgage Red Rocks Ampitheatre for 700,000. Tsukasa rolled next. Moving onto the credit card debt space, she was forced to part with three million of her hard earned money.

Konata seized the light blue Mall of America for 1.2 Million. Kagami finally passed go, but landed on Konata's newly acquired space, losing a small portion of the four million she had received. Tsukasa also passed go, landing on Kagami's mortgaged blue space. She considered herself lucky for the time being.

Turn Eight

Konata's next roll put her on Pioneer Square, which did nothing for her. Kagami, however, was able to take over Liberty Bell for 1.6 million. All pink titles were now under ownership. Tsukasa rolled, and with double sixes, landed on Free Parking.

"Well, Tsukasa, as the banker I believe you get your three million back. Congratulations." Kagami handed her sister the money from the bank and let her get her second roll in. This roll landed her on Hollywood, and she ended up putting 200,000 in Kagami's personal account.

Konata rolled double twos. Paying Kagami 180,000 for rent at Wakiki Beach, she performed her second roll, which put her, quite ironically, in jail.

"What was that you were saying about never using your get out of jail cards?" Kagami began to tease her short-statured friend as she picked up the dice. The tsundere landed on free parking, but since there was no tax collection, she didn't receive anything from it. Tsukasa landed once more on Las Vegas Boulevard, and the turn ended.

Turn Ten

"I use one of my get out of jail free cards!" The blunette grabbed the dice as Kagami facepalmed inwardly. Double fours and the otaku was on Johnson Space Center, which she purchased for two million. She now had two of the three oranges. Her next roll put her on Chance, which sent her back three spaces to Pioneer Square. It was Kagami's turn now.

Double twos allowed Kagami to purchase Disney World for 2.4 million, but left her with under a million in funds. She rolled again, paying 280,000 to Tsukasa at the White House. Tsukasa's next roll was a seven. She found herself on Fenway Park, the other remaining blue.

"Not fair!" shouted the blue haired bandit who, up to now, seemed to be leading the pack. "How can she have both properties?"

"I guess I'm just lucky today, replied Tsukasa as she parted with 3.5 million. She was now able to build houses. She put one on each property, blowing through four million more before ending her turn.

Turn Eleven

Konata was worried. Her next roll caused her to pay Kagami 280,000 at the French Quarter, and she knew she was at risk of hitting one of Tuskasa's most dangerous spaces within the coming turns. She needed a plan, but for once was unsure what she could really do.

Kagami, on the other hand, wasn't too frightened. She managed to bypass all of Tuskasa's properties in her roll, pass go, collect four million, and land on Jacobs Field, which she bought dirt cheap for 600,000. She was even less worried as Tuskasa passed go and landed on Income Tax, parting with the four million she'd just earned.

Konata took the dice once more. Cursing as she landed on the White House next, she reluctantly handed Tsukasa the 280,000 owed. However, 80,000 did come back to her when Kagami rolled and landed on Mall of America.

Tsukasa rolled double twos, landing on Kagami's mortgaged Gateway Arch. The second roll landed on Konata's Space Center, causing her to part with 140,000. Konata then rolled, landing between Tsukasa's two blue properties and onto Credit Card Debt.

"To be honest, it could be worse," she found herself saying as three million was added to the Park Place total. "At least I didn't owe anything ELSE to Tsukasa."

"Don't be such a sore loser, Konata." Sighing, Kagami rolled. "South Beach Miami...didn't you need this, Konata?"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, I would definitely dare. I'm buying this for 1.8 Million!"

"Nooooooo!" Konata collapsed. "I needed that so much! Now we're going to lose this game! It's all your fault, Kagami!"

"Hmph. That's all part of the game, I guess. You win some, you lose some. Tsukasa, I believe it's your turn."

"Thanks, sis!" The short haired twin let the dice flow from her hand, landing on Hollywood and giving Kagami 240,000.

Turn Fourteen

"Alright," began Konata. "So with four million more in my account, I'm back on Mall of America. Kagami, I would like to make a deal with you. Your orange for my pink."

"That's a pretty bold move, Konata. Even though it costs you more in the long run, you have enough money to take the lead from Tsukasa and put me in dead last."

"But you have to admit it's a beneficial strategy for you too. You can start mortgaging things off and possibly get your hotels before me, even."

"You have a point..." The twin-tailed girl found herself strangely open to this idea. It was the only logical way she'd defeat her overly lucky sister, after all. "Very well, Konata. Let's do this."

It was Kagami's turn. "I choose to mortgage all properties except those in the pink group, and unmortgage Red Rocks Ampitheatre." After doing this, and putting a house on each pink property, she found herself with four million in her account. She rolled the dice and ended her turn.

"I choose to mortgage all properties except the blue group." This left Tsukasa with five million. She rolled, landing on Atlanta International. This she purchased for two million, then mortgaged to reclaim one million, in order to keep the property out of play.

Turn Fifteen

"If that's how it's going to be, I shall mortgage Mall of America and O'Hare International, then place houses on each of my oranges! Then I roll an...eleven! Which puts me on Park Place and gives me seven million!"

"Dammit, now you'll definitely get the lead. Oh well, take your damn money."

"Thank you, Kagami. I'll add another two houses to each property and end my turn. Feel free to cower in fear."

Determined, Kagami threw the dice with a prayer in her mind. Unfortunately, that prayer was bogus and she ended up in jail. Tsukasa passed GO and added another house to each of her blue properties, signaling the end of the turn.

Turn Sixteen

Konata rolled and made it to a mortgaged property. Kagami failed to roll doubles and paid two million to get out of jail. Unfortunately, this sent her to Pioneer Square, Konata's most expensive property.

"Six million, Kagamin. Or, are you simply out of money?"

Kagami's face turned a ghostly white. She needed to come up with 3.97 million. Could she do it? She sold every house. She mortgaged her last three properties. But she needed 297,000 more. "Tsukasa...?"

"Sorry, sis. I can't help you, otherwise I won't be able to stop her from taking me out with you. It's nothing personal, honest!"

"Well, Konata...as much as I hate to say this...you've beaten me. I surrender." She relenquished her titles to the blue haired girl, who then paid the bank the mortgage fees. With that, it was Tsukasa's turn. She purchased Grand Ole Opry for one million, then called it a turn. She had to make it around the orange properties, or Konata would definitely win.

Turn Seventeen

"I'll build one hotel on Pioneer Square, and one on Johnson Space Center. My roll puts me at your mortgaged property, Tsukasa. It's your turn."

"Alright. Here I go!" Her roll put her on pink, so she paid Konata about 240,000. If she could just get a high roll, she could avoid certain doom, surely. Konata took the dice. This game was down to the wire. She passed go and landed on community chest, all in all taking home an additional five million.

Tsukasa made one more roll. Double sixes! She skipped the hotels and landed instead on the French Quarter, only owing Konata a small handful of money. Another roll, and it was Konata's turn again.

Turn Nineteen

Konata's roll was rather uneventful. Tsukasa passed GO one more time, but by this point Konata had the most assets. "Konata, can we just call it now? There's no way I can beat you."

"Oh, come on, it's just one more turn! What's the worst that could happen?"

"Alrighty. In that case, I'll put one more house on each blue property, so that I have three on each.

"Alright Konata," announced Kagami from across the table. "Make your final play."

Konata's final roll landed her on community chest. "Alright! Let's see...play ball...advance to...no. Oh no! NOT FENWAY PARK! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

"Wait, you mean, I..." Tsukasa couldn't believe it.

"Pay up, Konata!" shouted Kagami. "Eleven MILLION to Tsukasa!"

The blunette was in complete shock. "No...this just cannot be...How could this have happened? My hotels! I have to sell them! And my houses too! Even then...all my properties...everything I'd worked for...on the final turn..."

"Aw. Cheer up Konata," replied the short haired twin. "You just had a bad run. You really did almost have me though."

"It's not fair..."

Kagami clapped her hands together. "Alright, you two, now that we've gotten through another exciting game of Monopoly, can we please get back to studying?"

To Konata, it was the worst. Day. Ever.


End file.
